7 Types of Rest - The Secret to Self Actualisation

It all began during a hiking trip in the stunning Cretan White Mountains. While facing the challenge of reaching the 2500-meter summit safely, I found myself thinking about life, rest, and well-being. Trying to balance between a secure hike and fully enjoying the breathtaking view, as it was really hard and unsafe to do both at the same time, inspired deep reflections. Surprisingly, the fusion of a mountain adventure and a refreshing approach seamlessly connected in my thoughts that even became a life manifesto. About two years later, I come across Dr. Dalton-Smith's rest theory, and it was like finding the missing piece of the puzzle. The harmony between my personal insight and a medical expert's theory was truly a remarkable discovery. After I walked you through the White Mountains in my previous story that was the initial part of these series, it is time to delve deeper into 7 ways of rest as Part 2. Give me your hand gently, let's go!

Do you often find yourself feeling tired, even after a long weekend of sleep? Well, you're not alone. According to Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith, author of Sacred Rest: Recover Your Life, Renew Your Energy, Restore Your Sanity, the issue lies in our confusion between sleep and rest.

Regrettably, a majority of individuals can relate to this experience. Burnout has become more prevalent in today's fast-paced world. Chronic stress, extended working hours, imposter syndrome, and difficulty disconnecting from technology can lead to exhaustion, both physically and mentally. After a hectic week, we think a long weekend sleep helps us recover. We cancel plans, we decline invites and we stay horizontal to the floor all weekend long. You think you would have an energised week afterwards but you only feel rested until Monday noon. Sounds familiar, right? The thing is that even though sleep is crucial for physical rest, it's just one aspect of the seven types of rest essential for feeling fully alive and energized according to Dr. Dalton-Smith who suggests that individuals require balanced restoration in seven key areas of their lives. So, sleep is a purely physical activity, a fundamental biological need, while rest delves into the spiritual realm. It brings peace to the daily storms of your mind, body, and spirit face. Rest is what adds sweetness to sleep. Sometimes, a 10-hour sleep might not be refreshing, while there are instances when we feel surprisingly refreshed and prepared for the day despite inadequate sleep.The issue isn't merely a lack of sleep; it's the absence of quality rest.

In an interview with The Shine App, physician Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith, M.D. stated, “Most people, when they think about rest, have a very one-sided approach—they lounge around, don’t do anything, and think that’s what rest is… We try it, and when we’re still rest-deprived, we think it doesn’t work.”

“People say, ‘I’m tired all the time. I’m drained.’ If they’re waking up (after sleeping) and still exhausted, the issue probably isn’t sleep. It’s likely a rest deficit,” Dr. Dalton-Smith explains about her patients.

I know it isn't easy when tiredness and fatigue are the most prominent feelings in your body, making it hard to figure out what is going on with you because you can't think clearly. I know you might have been feeling so tired for so long that it has numbed your feelings. I know you might be feeling sorry and guilty about feeling this way, as you have all your essential needs fulfilled. What the hell does your body want from you?

Please pause for a moment if you find yourself feeling this way. Be gentle with yourself. Often, we underestimate how draining it is to sit through an hour-long meeting when you'd rather not be there at all. After a long day, all you crave is a moment of silence, but responsibilities kick in—you have kids to pick up from school, feed, and spend quality time with. At times, you take a detour and place them in front of the TV with snacks, feeling a twinge of guilt in the back of your mind. If you've embarked on an expat life, navigating your surroundings, dealing with bureaucracy, all while trying to maintain a sense of normalcy... You might have experienced a breakup, detaching from someone who was once closest to you. Perhaps you invested considerable effort into something, only to find that your work went unnoticed and unappreciated.

Whatever it is, remember what you have been going through and recognize that there are draining aspects of seemingly ordinary situations. We need to acknowledge that our civilised worlds, comfort zones, routines or regular events might actually not feel so comfortable. Not being in control of your own time, this is important I'm repeating this, not being in control of your own time is draining that we aren't always necessarily aware of.

If you are ready, please read the following what Dr. Dalton-Smith defined about feeling tired and the potential root causes that translates into 7 Ways of Rest.

1.Physical Rest:

Physical rest encompasses both passive and active components. It involves revitilazing the body through quality sleep and engaging in activities like yoga and massage therapy.

• Passive Component: Quality sleep is vital for physical renewal. It involves various sleep cycles, including deep and REM sleep, essential for muscle repair, immune function, and overall well-being.

• Active Component: Engaging in activities like yoga not only enhances flexibility but also promotes relaxation. Regular stretching routines and massage therapy contribute to reducing physical tension and fatigue.

2. Mental Rest:

The second type of rest we need is mental rest, which helps calm our busy minds and improve focus. If you lack mental rest, you might struggle to concentrate and remember things.

When your mind is restless, it can keep you awake even when you're trying to sleep. You might feel irritable and forgetful, as if you didn't sleep at all. Signs that you need mental rest include reading the same sentence over and over, sending confusing emails, or having negative thoughts. Mental rest is essential in our information-saturated world. It involves taking breaks from constant mental engagement, allowing the mind to recharge.

Try meditation and repeating calming phrases. Take short breaks during the day, unplug from electronic devices, and keep a notepad nearby to jot down any thoughts that are racing through your mind.

3. Emotional Rest:

Emotional well-being involves acknowledging and expressing feelings genuinely without the pressure of people pleasing. Many individuals carry the weight of emotional labor privately, hiding true feelings and avoiding vulnerability. By keeping this emotional burden private, one may miss out on opportunities for healing.

To practice emotional rest, it's essential to offload feelings to a willing listener, fostering open communication to prevent future emotional overload. Regular therapy sessions or connecting with others who provide a safe space for authenticity can contribute significantly to achieving emotional rest.

4. Social Rest:

Social rest has both ends. Healthy relationships are crucial, but recognizing the need for staying solo is equally important. Social rest involves establishing boundaries for personal reflection and self-care.

In my personal interpretation, finding joy and fulfilment in being solo becomes a foundation for developing wholesome relationships. When you reach a mental state of genuine happiness in your own company, you naturally create space for only those relationships that align with your well-being. In this state, you become expert at establishing healthy boundaries, preventing the entry of individuals who do not resonate with your authentic self. It is a powerful affirmation that your inner fulfilment acts as a filter, inviting only those who contribute positively to your life and share in the joy of your self-discovery.

To attain social rest on another way, immerse yourself in the company of positive and supportive individuals. Reconnect with a longtime friend who understands you deeply. If interacting with others online, enhance your engagement by activating your camera and giving your full attention to the person you're communicating with.

5. Sensory Rest:

Modern life bombards us with sensory stimuli, from screens to constant noise. Sensory rest involves minimizing exposure to these stimuli.

Don't underestimate the information overload through different media e.g several different messaging platforms.

Frequent messages and notifications can interrupt concentration and disrupt the flow of thought. This constant distraction hampers productivity and may contribute to mental fatigue. I personally try to stay away from "Whatsapp Groups" storm. I believe, constant notifications' sensory stimuli has a negative impact on the cognitive system. Therefore, I prefer engaging with my network in a more genuine way and have more sincere engagement over personal touch points allowing for focused and purposeful communication. This may of course not be the only way; one can also regularly evaluate their digital communication habits for a healthier cognitive balance.

Taking nature walks, practicing digital detox, or enjoying quiet time in a calm environment helps reduce sensory overload.

Creative Rest:

It involves stepping away from routine and allowing the mind to wander. Creative rest entails engaging in creative outlets that enable individuals appreciation of beauty in various forms.

It could be the beauty of nature—like the oceans, mountains, trees, or waterfalls—or the beauty humans create, such as art, music, and dance. Creative rest rekindles the sense of awe and wonder within each of us.

We all have a creative side, whether we recognize it or not. If you've brainstormed solutions at work, played with your kids, built something, or organized an event, you've tapped into your creativity.

Spiritual Rest:

Spiritual well-being transcends the self, connecting with something greater. Spiritual rest involves finding meaning and purpose. Meditation, prayer, spending time in nature, reflecting on values, expressing gratitude, and participating in meaningful rituals contribute to a sense of spiritual renewal.

Now I want to go back and realize what I felt like hitting me during my mountain hike.

This is how a mountain hike transforms into a profound form of rest. In my case, it wasn't a physical rest that I needed, but rather a sensory rest. As a people manager in a fast paced tech company, navigating through daily high-stress situations in a seated position all day long, I was thirsty for a break that would engage my senses and provide a much-needed mental recharge.

As an adult who tries to unlock the full potential in herself to be able to live a healthy, well and sustainable life, I believe it is my own responsibility to find the missing piece and work towards it. This might involve, setting boundaries towards certain people, community or situations, prioritising your much-needed breaks to stay rested, changing habits or going off-line for a while. You might offend people because they are simply not capable of understanding your needs, nor eager to try to do so. Drawing from personal experience, the upcoming part of this series explores the importance of mutual understanding of needs in relationships, touching on a significant break in my own relationship and its implications.